An Apple a Day will Break You

As you know, my slick iPhone made contact with my slick granite bathroom counter and did a luge jump into the toilet. I’ve made peace with that.

What I’m having a harder time making peace with is Ma Bell (that’s what us older folks use to call AT&T) and Apple. To replace my original $500 iPhone it cost me $650.

Here’s how it works:

Scenario One: To win you over from a competitor, AT&T will let you have an iPhone for $299 with a two-year contract.

This was the original iPhone purchased as a birthday gift for one of the two phones on the account with AT&T in April of 2007.

Scenario Two: To penalize you for upgrading your old RAZR phone to a iPhone 3G 16 gig in the middle of your contract, you’ll pay $500 and start your two-years all over again.

This was the second iPhone purchased as a gift for the second-line of the account with AT&T in September of 2007. “We’re glad you enjoyed the first iPhone so much that you wanted your whole household to have iPhones, but you’ll pay through the nose because you are purchasing it at a really inconvenient time for us in your contract.”

Scenario Three: To punish you for having a bad day and not treating your iPhone with more respect, to replace your water damaged iPhone (considered now a second mid-contract upgrade) you’ll pay $600 for an 8 gig iPhone or $700 for a 16 gig iPhone ($200 more than the original 16 gig I purchased).

Someone out there (AT&T or Apple, I don’t know which) has decided that for people that have “abused their iPhone more than once” the price is going to be $200 more to replace it. I told them I didn’t abuse my iPhone more than once. I’m replacing my first ever iPhone.

Apple dude: Oh, then it will be the $500 for the 16 gig then.

Me: Fine. As long as am paying what I originally paid.

Apple dude: Oh sorry, AT&T says that since this is your third phone within a contract period you have to pay the $700 price for the 16 gig.

Me: You’re kidding right? I’m being charged $200 dollars more for being a loyal customer that had an accident.

And like a techno meth addict, I ended up with the $600 8 gig version. Half the gigabytes for $100 more than I originally paid.

Does anyone else see the horror in this? When did the philosophy of American corporations become, “Love them ‘till we have them, then suck ‘em dry”?

An Apple iPhone 3G costs $100 to manufacture.  I’ve purchased two now for a total of $1,100. Let’s give them a 50% markup ($200 each phone). So, I was charged $300 for them to activate my first iPhone, and $400 for them to push a button and activate my replacement iPhone.

Hey guys at AT&T and Apple, maybe if you showed some love for others instead of yourself, your stocks would go up.